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I Wear the Maternity Pants in This Family, by Susan Konig
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It was September, and humorist Susan Konig had just put her youngest child on the school bus with his brother and sister and thought, "Wow, my life is really going to change now. All three kids in school full-time. For the first time in a decade I'll have my days to myself! I'll write another book, get to the gym four times a week, run for political office, save the baby seals . . ." Almost immediately, she started throwing up. Around the clock. She knew the drill. She was definitely pregnant . . . with her fourth child . . . and about to turn forty-three. Time to break out the big pants again. While Susan thought that the next chapter of her and her husband's lives involved making plans for their impending child-free, swinging middle-aged-dom, instead she's back to two A.M. feedings. Meanwhile her tween daughter is receiving her first phone calls from . . . boys! And in between this twelve-year-old and the newborn are two rambunctious sons, eight and five. So it's training wheels and training bras; first dance, last diaper; Miss Clairol and Ben & Jerry. Will Susan ever get back into shape? And what shape was that, exactly? Will she be the oldest mom at preschool in a few years? Will she survive that long? And will she and her husband cope with a national radio show that brings their disorganized household to the whole country? Acclaimed humorist Susan Konig follows her successful debut, Why Animals Sleep So Close to the Road (and Other Lies I Tell My Children), with this charming, hilarious, and realistic account of being a mom. After all, it's a big job---and it requires big pants.
- Sales Rank: #2119136 in Books
- Published on: 2015-05-14
- Original language: English
- Number of items: 1
- Dimensions: 8.50" h x .43" w x 5.50" l, .50 pounds
- Binding: Paperback
- 172 pages
From Publishers Weekly
In this witty collection of motherhood tales, Konig (Why Animals Sleep So Close to the Road) recalls waving good-bye to her third child as he got on his first school bus. After three children, she was looking forward to some daytime peace and quiet—only she felt an all-too-familiar surge of nausea. At the suburban ob-gyn's office, the way they stared at her, you'd think Grandma Moses had walked in, so she retreated to her old city doctor, who acted like pregnant-over-40 was no big deal. Her husband and daughter and two sons cheerfully welcomed the newest family member—after all, there's always room for another baby—kind of like Jell-O. In 45 vignettes, Konig shares episodes of family life—singing to baby, sibling rivalry, Little League ups and downs. Such familiar turf is often more poignant than funny, although when she reaches deeper into her family's idiosyncrasies, she can be hilarious. Her husband, for instance, is an amusingly obsessive neighborhood wood scavenger; still, it took them so long to hook up their wood stove properly that their baby smelled like a campfire. Some sketches, like the one where Konig's figuring out her sons' Tamagotchi virtual pets, are surprisingly dated. But in the great tradition of Erma Bombeck, Konig makes it okay to be a little retro. (Aug.)
Copyright � Reed Business Information, a division of Reed Elsevier Inc. All rights reserved.
About the Author
Susan began her career schlepping shopping bags for Washington Post fashion editor Nina Hyde. Once she learned to type (a skill she lied about to get the job), she was put to work writing features for the paper's Style section. She moved on to Seventeen magazine in the big 80's as a fashion, beauty and trends editor. (Think shoulder pads, mousse and helicopter earrings.) In the nineties, her twice weekly column for the New York Post delighted millions...and irritated dozens. Her articles and essays have appeared in many national publications including Ladies' Home Journal, Travel & Leisure, First for Women and Parade. Her short fiction was published in Barbie magazine, including the tear-jerker "Midge's Wedding." Susan was co-host of the popular Speak Now...with Dave and Susan Konig on Sirius Satellite radio. The motherhood columnist and her Emmy Award-winning comedian husband interviewed celebrities, athletes and authors for three hours a day entertaining loyal listeners across the country and internationally. Her first book Why Animals Sleep So Close to the Road (and Other Lies I Tell My Children) was called "brilliant, witty, and downright Bombeckian" by USA Today. Parade Magazine says of third book Teenagers & Toddlers Are Trying to Kill Me!: "Surviving parenthood is never so funny as when Susan Konig tells tales of the joyful chaos that is life with her four children." Parade Magazine says of Teenagers & Toddlers Are Trying to Kill Me!: "Surviving parenthood is never so funny as when Susan Konig tells tales of the joyful chaos that is life with her four children."
Most helpful customer reviews
4 of 4 people found the following review helpful.
Funny lady, funny book
By T. Faranda
This is the second book by Susan Konig. The first one was "Why Animals Sleep so Close to the Road (And Other Lies I Tell My Children"), a book I enjoyed so much I gave away at least twenty copies to friends and clients.
The new book is equally good - a light, breezy, funny, read about life if you're a suburban lady journalist, 40 something, with a comedian-entertainer husband, three children, and #4 on the way.
Like most humor books, this is a rapid read, with 205 pages divided into 44 chapters (and epilogue). Some of the chapters are an absolute scream, like (my personal favorite) the 36 hour trip to the "pampering spa" with just the hubbie..., or the leaking ceiling in the children's bedroom....
All great fun. I'll be getting another box of these to give away!
2 of 2 people found the following review helpful.
Mother of 8 thinks this was Great!
By Cheryl L. Butler
Hilarious! If you are looking for a good read centered around "the truth" behind parenting..........this is it! Susan Konig tells it like it is, and this forty-something mother of 8 found it the perfect way to end the summer!!
0 of 0 people found the following review helpful.
Great book when you need some laughs!
By Cardenuto2
I saw this at my local library a few years ago, and I remember laughing so hard several times that I dropped the book. Her stories are very funny, but the motherhood woes don't bash husbands or family life the way some humor books tend to do. She made me see the funny side of young kids' endless antics and mischief, and made me appreciate how great it is to be a mom. Back then my third child was a newborn, and I could relate to the motherhood experiences. Now I'm pregnant with my fourth, and my older three are all self-sufficient. I keep thinking about Susan having her fourth with 3 older kids, and finally I had to find it on amazon so I can read it again! (I've moved away from the library where I found it.) I cannot wait to get this book, and have it on hand for times when I really need to put things in perspective!
See all 8 customer reviews...
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